Graham's Hidden Desires
by NateSean
Summary: Read it and figure it out. PG13 for mild sexual innuendo. Nothing truly shown.


Disclaimer: This is my first Buffy fic. I got the idea after I had too much time on my hands. Whatever happened to Riley after he found out Buffy was dead?  
  
Note: Implied yaoui, nothing really explicit.  
Flame all you like mwahahahaha! Also, I don't know how to spell the name of Riley's friend from the Initiative, so if I get it wrong either tell me how to spell it, or don't bother pointing it out.  
  
Graham's Hidden desires  
By Nate Crawford  
  
Dear Riley,  
  
I needed to write and let you know. Buffy is dead, I told Angel myself. I'm sorry, I can't write any more as I'm getting misty eyed.  
  
Your old friend,   
Willow  
  
Riley read the letter over and over again before finally accepting that what was written was true. He had been in Brazil with Graham and the others trying to keep the demon population at bay.  
Now he was on leave and spending his time in the local village, where he received mail from friends up North. He didn't really tell anyone what he was doing down here, his cover story was very simple; his break up with Buffy hurt him. And he needed to get away for a while.  
Riley left the postal depot and stepped out into the scorching sun. The Amazon was notoriously hot. How any thing, human or monster could survive was anyone's guess.  
His heart felt like it was pumping lead and the pain he felt inside only reminded him of how much he loved Buffy.   
Why couldn't I stay longer? He thought back to that night when he was standing at the helipad, waiting for Buffy to come running out of the dark to throw her arms around him.  
He waited until he could wait no longer. As the helicopter lifted into the air, he dimly recalled hearing a faint voice over the rotor, calling his name. Had it been her? He didn't know. He didn't even want to look down lest it be his imagination.  
No, now Riley would never get the chance to hold her in his arms. He would never see her long blond hair there would be no more sparring sessions in the back of the magic shop.  
I guess that's what it means to love a Slayer, he thought.   
"What's wrong?" Graham approached him as he entered their hotel room. "You look upset."  
Riley crumpled up the letter and tossed it in a wastebasket. The bed had a loose spring in the center, so he didn't bother sitting. Instead he looked out the window and grieved.  
"Buffy's dead."  
"I'm sorry."   
  
Graham felt terrible. Normally he didn't let emotion take too much control of him, but in this case his best friend had lost someone close to him. Buffy always was special, and the two of them were made for each other.  
Graham sat down on his own bed. It was softer than Riley's bed, and it didn't have the spring on it. Riley was nice enough to actually give up his own comfort for his best friend.  
Damn it, Graham thought. No wonder I never had a chance with the Slayer. Riley's so much more sensitive to other people's needs…and he has a really nice-  
"Graham?" Riley interrupted his train of thought. "Are you okay?"  
Graham had been starring at Riley's butt. Luckily the bad lighting in the room made it impossible to see much, and Riley wasn't too suspicious.  
"Yeah, I'm fine I just…" Graham stuttered as he tried to find something to say. "Sorry. I was thinking about your ass, I mean, our assignment. I don't mean to sound jaded. I know you're going to miss her."  
"Yeah," Riley didn't say much else. Instead he went into the bathroom to shower.  
Graham wished the air conditioning wasn't so bad in here. Every time he thought of Riley sleeping in that horrible bed and him sleeping all alone on this soft, comfortable, large bed he began to sweat.  
The shower water came on. Graham stopped breathing for a second. He got up and walked over to the door and bent down to look in the keyhole. A second later the door flew open and he jumped to the side.  
"Damn these roaches!" He yelled, trying to cover up for his actions.  
Riley shrugged and went over to the dresser. Then he pulled out his extra change of clothes and returned to the bathroom.  
Agh! Why doesn't he just get over her? Graham thought. Come on, don't torture yourself like this Graham, he has no interest in you.  
That was the thought that tortured him this whole time. Ever since he saw Riley with the slayer that first night he was jealous.   
At first he thought maybe he was jealous of Riley. After all, they always agreed that Buffy was a special girl, like no other.  
A lot of guys in the Initiative were jealous. Who wouldn't be?  
But when Riley left the Initiative it just wasn't the same. Sure, killing demons with extremely advanced technology was both fulfilling, and sometimes fun. The pay was good too. But what good was it if Riley wasn't there?  
Graham dropped out and joined the rag tag military group destined for Brazil. There he convinced his commanding officer to take Riley along.  
Oh how his heart skipped when Riley decided to join up with them, but his thoughts weren't on the mission. Of course he was a good fighter, like always. But then…you could tell whom his thoughts were really on.  
Graham realized that after all this time, he wasn't jealous of Riley. He was jealous of Buffy. All that time spent with him training, fighting vampires…in bed.  
The disappointment was even greater now. Graham realized this when he heard that Buffy was dead. Now Riley was even farther gone.   
Graham sighed. Oh well, he thought. Might as well make the best of a bad situation.  
With that, he got on one knee, and looked through the keyhole.  



End file.
